Doing fine

Other than work being a ball buster, I'm doing fine. I've pretty much moved into my apartment and settled into a kind of routine which does actually include Eric, dinner a couple of times a week and doing house work together on the weekend. One weekend we had a garage sale and the other weekend we put a window in. We got along perfectly because I think we knew in the end we could go to our own places and give each other space, not crowding each other out like normal.

D is also doing surprisingly well. He did have a rough night last night but he was missing his daddy because E had just left after spending most of the evening with us. But after calling E on the phone and chatting for a minute, D hung up, told me he was happy and was ready to go to sleep.

It hasn't been without its challenges. There are times I'm so so sad that my marriage isn't what I hoped. I'll feel this anxiety when I think of what the future may bring. I worry and worry and worry. But of course worrying is what I do best in the whole world.

BUT, every day is just a little easier and I feel like I'm fitting into myself just a little better. It gives me hope.

Moving day

I borrowed my dads truck and we are moving all the big things I'm taking with me. Eric is helping me and though he seems bummed we are getting along for now. I hope this will last through the day. We tend to get on each others nerves and it can turn into a fight. I've asked my mom to bring D to the apartment in the evening for our first night there. I told her I would have dinner and asked her to eat with us. Yesterday I invited E. He said he would see.

But first we are going to make a dump run or two as part of getting rid of all this junk we've accumulated so we can sell the house. I actually like going to the dump. I love chucking big hunks of trash into the pit. It will help get the frustrations out. :)

Seperating

Yesterday, one day after my 10 year wedding anniversary, I signed papers for an apartment. I'll be moving my and D's things out this week and the big stuff out next weekend.

It's very weird and horribly sad and I feel so so sad D who doesn't understand what is going to happen. I'm so pissed at E who I think is being incredibly selfish and assholy. But that is a different post. I can't quite talk about it yet, I get too angry.

I can't believe this is happening. My heart is breaking.

Today I...

Ran! Two times!

Tonight at the gym I walked for five minutes, ran for five minutes, walked for two minutes, ran for another five then had a four and a half minute graduated cool down. It would have been a five minute cool down but there was a stair machine open that I wanted so I cut it short.

I never thought I'd really be running. I like it as much as I thought I would.

*happy dance*

Yay!! E has fixed my computer! I got a virus a while ago and hasn't worked for about six or seven months. I could occasionally get on D's computer but it's not the same. So E worked on it for a few days and now I'm on. He was able to recover all my pics (about a year and a halves worth that he didn't have!) and that was a HUGE relief to me! It will be so nice to be "on line" again. While technically I could read my blogs on the iphone I had a hard time commenting on them and even posting on my own blog (my thumbs are clumsy). So I'm really excited! Oh computer, how I missed you!!!

Jury Duty

Today I have jury duty. I really don't mind because any day you can get paid for not going to work is pretty good. There is always the chance that they'll dismiss you early and you get the day to yourself. Here's to hoping!

The only thing is that I've been called to jury duty almost every year since D has been born. Or at least four of the five years. I've always written the coordinator and have been dismissed because I didn't have anyone to watch D. But this time I was called two time in the last six months. I was summoned in June but that was settled out of court or something like that. Hopefully I'll show up today and this will be the end of it. Take my name out of the pool! The majority of the people I talk to have never been called. Really? I think the courts need to figure out a new way of picking citizens for this wonderful task. Or if they want I can take them a list of names of people that should probably have a turn. Hah.

I'm laying here nervous and it's not because of court or of being in a hot basement with a bunch of strangers but because of parking! The parking is a mess down town and just to think I'll be driving around in the rain with no available spots has my stomach in knots!!

They did say knitting needles were not aloud. Do you think that would include a crochet hook as well?

Please cross your fingers for me so I can get out early. Or get on the coolest case ever!

Happy New Year!!!

So where did this year go anyway?? It just flew by and now here we are at the very last day! I'm just being positive that it will be a great year, at least better than '09.

I'm starting the new year with a challenge. Jen from PriorFatGirl (link at a later date, but totally worth googling!) is doing a 31 day No Eating Out Challenge and I'm in!! I eat out so much with the family and by myself that I think while this challenge while be tough I think it will be good not only for my waistline but for my pocket book. Wish me luck!

Gah! I'm already tired and I still have a half hour till ringing in the new year. I do have to work tomorrow so I have an excuse for falling asleep before midnight. Is not because I'm old or anything. *ahem*

I hope everyone has a wonderful new year!! Here's to a shiny, brand new decade!!

Cheers!