Wednesday

Today is our 'busy day'. I may have mentioned before, D has two classes: AM preschool then a 45 minute break to get him some lunch then he goes to speech class. He ends up really wild by the time the day is done, I'm wondering if it's too much stimulation for the kid.

This morning we had to leave a little early to get a special treat for his class's snack time. Friday is his birthday and I wanted him to get to celebrate with his class. Teacher Rebecca gives the birthday kid a crown and they all sing Happy Birthday. It's sweet and I'm glad D gets to participate. Technically school would have been out last week but because of all the snow days they had school was extended out. Friday is a potluck at a park and I didn't want Teacher R to have to try to get the kids rounded up for a birthday wish so today is perfect.

Last weekend was nice. We had a bar-be-que with the neighbors on Sunday when I got home from work. Then Monday and yesterday morning I spent power washing the back side of the house. The patio, the gutters and the shop. The actual house wasn't bad but the gutters and shop were disgusting. Mildew loves plastic. It was pretty fun, though and very addicting. Once you spray an area clean and see how pretty it looks you can't help but to keep going. I also cleaned the dining room ceiling fan yesterday (not with the pressure washer. I re read what I wrote and that's how it kind of sounded). It was grey with grime. I had to take it apart to clean it and now it's white again. All of this means that we are trying to get the house ready for the market. I've decided to stay here with E until we sell the house, or that's what he wants. I don't know if I'll stay that long. It will be nice to pool our money together for a while and pay some bills and save a bit. There is so much to do to get this house ready; finish the kitchen, put a new window in the master bedroom, pack up the ton and a half of crap we've accumulated, finish the trim in the family room and clean, clean, clean! I had originally told him I would help get the house cleaned up and was figuring that I'd be spending the majority of my evenings and weekends here anyway.

I'm kind of sad to be leaving. I actually love my house and wish I could afford it on my own. I have so many memories here and would love to stay. My mom was pushing that on me and I have to wonder if she wanted me to keep it so she could keep squatting here in my garage. Ug, no thanks!! I want her out as it is because she's driving me bonkers and is avoiding us. I think she knows her two months are up and she's trying to get out of being kicked out. Ick, I get indigestion just thinking about it so I can't get into it right now. Anyway, I told E that if the house doesn't sell the very last thing we need to to is convert the garage back into a garage. I don't think it will be hard to do, it's mostly demolition to put everything back the way it was. It might be pretty fun to take a sledge hammer to the walls. He he!

Well, I guess I should get packing and cleaning. And measuring trim. Oh and getting some paper goods for the potluck! So much to do!

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Lost, late and a tram ride

Yesterday I took D to his evaluation at O H S U. That's the big teaching hospital in Port Land that has the local pediatric hospitals that specialize in all kinds of needs. The facility itself is on a huge hill and I can tell you it's practically impossible to find if you don't know how to get there.

I originally going to leave the house at 6 o'clock in the morning for D's 8:30 hearing exam. But I thought I was being a little dramatic and decided to hold off an hour and left at seven. Into town was the normal bumper to bumper traffic and I made it within an hour. That left me a half an hour to find the hospital. I could see the tram that leads up to it but I couldn't find any signs that said where it was. Surely there were signs being that it is the big teaching hospital, right?

Nope. By the time E called me back with which exit to take I had passed it and was almost out of town and into Washington! I turned around but there was no exit number going the other way. I found my way back but didn't know what little curvy road to turn on until I finally flagged down a guy in a black convertible porche and through sobs asked him if I was even close. He said no but if I turned and followed him he would take me close to where I needed to be. What a great guy! There really are still nice people in this world!!

I eventually made it, 45 minutes late!!! I was still bawling my eyes out and the ladies felt so bad that they gave me and D some free tram tickets. He didn't get to do the hearing exam, but that's not really an issue it just needs to be done. We did get to do the speech evaluation and the speech therapist told me that he's about a year behind. He scored one to three points below average for his age in two out of three of the tests. But with the little extra help he gets each week and working at home on some things he should be just fine.

The tram ride was really fun. I didn't know how either of us would do because I don't like heights and I wasn't sure how D would react but he did fine and it was really cool.









D said the cars looked like toys. The kind of do. We stopped and took E to lunch at Apple Bees and then headed back home. All in all it was a good day. Especially when the therapist said D was a wonderful and delightful child. Maybe she says that to all the parents but it's still nice to hear.

I hope everyone has a warm, sunny and wonderful Memorial Day!

Staying the same

Whenever I try to renew my weight loss efforts I buy myself a cute new notebook and put the date and my weight. I recently found an old notebook from about a year ago. The weight was 248. Today's weight? 248. For almost a whole year I've stayed the same.

There are a couple of weight loss blogs I read but will only visit them every few months or so. They are not updated very often and the message is always the same for both of them: "I lost a few pounds, *then silence for a while*, Sorry I haven't written because I fell off the wagon but now my dedication is anew and I'm going to succeed..." and the cycle continues. These women are so hopeful and really want to lose the weight and be healthy and feel good. Not only do they say that's what they want but you can just feel it in their words. You can't help but root for them because they want it so bad. But for years they've stayed the same hopeful, over weight ladies that they were when I first came across their blogs.

I've realized I'm just like them.

I really want to lose this weight. I really do! But it seems I spend more time wishing and hoping and I never actually get to it. I'll lose a few pounds and then before you know it I'm falling off the wagon and avoiding the whole situation. I really wish I could find the motivation/determination/discipline I need to lose weight once and for all.

I don't want to write another post like this in a year. I'll be really sad.

Big Bad Trap

This is the big trap that I'm supposed to put peanut butter on and then carefully set and put under the house. Except I'm scared of it because as I was inspecting how to set it I smashed the base of two fingers in it. It really hurt!!!! I know, I'm dumb sometimes.

And if I had any worries about it not being strong enough to actually kill the rat and not just torture it they are gone; that lever that comes down is really, really strong.

A fat rat

I knew there was a rat in the house because you could here it in the walls between the bathrooms. We were sitting in our bedroom watching Lost and we could hear the scratching. E told me he'd heard it a few times during the last week or so. He told me it was probably a little mouse and that he would get it with poison. Only I didn't think it sounded so little.

I got up this morning to make breakfast and start to see all these POOPS everywhere. On the stove and in the sink! AAAAHHH! And they're HUGE POOPS! This guy is big! It makes me sick to think he's been walking around my kitchen and all over the counters!!! I'm so mad.

So E told me if I bait a big rat trap and set it he would be the one to check it and dispose what ever it traps. That's what it gets for being in my kitchen.

Ug, I'm so ill.

A cool blog

Kath Eats Real Food

I found this blog, I can't remember where exactly, but it had to have been off a blog that I regularly read. That's the best way I know to find new and interesting people on the web. It's not like any of my other regular blogs I love and read daily, so when I found myself going back to it time and time again I decided to add it to my daily faves. (I also think of you when I read it, Holly, because she just graduated to become a dietitian as well:) ) She updates every meal with pictures and a description.

And I never knew that there could be so many nut butters!!

What I find most interesting about her blog (besides all the really cool pics) is that not only does she eat healthy but she makes it a mini event. She sets a mood, eats foods that are yummy to her, she eats until she's full and seems to enjoy the moment. She also mixes in all the food groups to make a complete meal. And for me the most amazing thing? She can be satisfied with just a bit or two of something rich. That concept is foreign to me but Kath proves that it can be learned and done.

I just wanted to share.

Now I have to get ready to find some allergy medication for my poor boy. His eyes are so swollen and he can't stop itching them. I'm so sad I passed my allergies onto him.

Low key day

Thursdays are our (mine and D's) day we have nothing pressing to do. So we usually do nothing but hang out. Today was no exception; we hung out in our jammies, played on the computer and I tried to teach him about measuring in inches and hearing tests.

Next Thursday we go into the big city and head to the teaching hospital for D to get a hearing exam and a more in depth speech eval. He has never had a successful hearing exam because he can't quite get the whole "raise the left hand if you hear the sound in the left ear" part. It's been about a year since we've even tried so I'm going to work on it with him and hopefully the test will be a success!!

Tomorrow his pre-school class goes to Ench@nted Forr3st for a field trip. It's a pretty fun place for kids and I know he'll love it. The last time we went he sobbed big salty tears because we had to leave. I hope I don't forget the camera. (I usually do!) It's supposed to be a beautiful day so even I'm excited!

I took my sleeping pills kind of late tonight and now I'm just waiting for sweet slumber to come knock me out. Soon I hope.

Good night!

After all that I missed it!

I've mentioned in the past that I'm a horrible sleeper. I can't fall asleep, I can't stay asleep and so the whole process is just bad. For years I would just stay up and binge eat until I fell asleep at two in the morning and then feel icky and guilty when I woke up the next day.

Well I've kind of found a solution: generic S1eepy Time. So far it's worked great *knocks wood*. I can pretty much time it to where I fall asleep between 10 and 11. I wake up in the morning feeling pretty good.

Last night was no exception. I came home from covering the closing shift and took two pills at 8 o'clock, turned on The Biggest Loser and promptly got bored of all the gabbing that went on. I cleaned my bathroom, read D some books and got him off to sleep and finally the weigh-ins were under way. But they were kind of dragging on and on. It was 10 and the final three hadn't even began to get on the stage. So I put on my pajamas and crawled into bed figuring that I could just snuggle in and watch the rest of the show and then maybe some news and then I could sleep. I heard Tara announce the order of how they'd weigh...Then I woke up this morning with D's knees in my back and E telling me good bye.

Tara won right? Or no, it was Michael. Of course it was. I can't believe I FELL ASLEEP AT THE FINAL WEIGH IN!

I also can't believe that Helen won. I would have never guessed it. I'll bet Tara and Michael wouldn't have ever guessed it either.

Just Tuesday

Just got back from a work meeting, the regular second-Tuesday-of-the-month meeting and there was nothing new. Those are good.

Now I'm just taking a little lunch break from cleaning this house. Surprisingly it's not too bad clutter/mess wise so I'm taking advantage of Dominic being in daycare and doing the dusting, mopping and vacuuming. He is sweet and loves to help which makes a bigger mess and takes twice as long. But I really can't complain, he's such a sweet kid. I hope he will still want to help me when he can actually do the chores correctly! :)

In other news, I found an apartment yesterday. It's affordable, cute, really close to my work and literally around the corner from the best elementary school in town. I went to talk to the managers and get an application and left feeling so happy and hopeful. Things have been so tense and awful between Eric and I and this little act made me feel like I have some power in my life.

When Eric came home I told him that I had found an apartment and thought he would be happy. Or at least pleasantly pleased. I had previously told him I wouldn't be the one to leave the relationship, that I couldn't do that to D and his response was "I figured as much, you're gonna stick around and milk off me as much as you can." Well, that wasn't how I was looking at it but, whatever. So I was surprised when he accused me of sticking him with the house, leaving him to sell it then taking half of the money. I swear, he's gone bonkers.

He took a bit of a nap and was better when he woke up. I explained to him that we should separate while we're still semi civil to each other and that this is the perfect opportunity for me and to get D into the school's day care and kindergarten program. He mulled it over for a while and later in the evening asked me with sad eyes if this is what I really wanted to do. I told him the truth: NO! It's not what I want to do but it's obvious that we aren't going to make our marriage work and so now I have to put all my focus on D. TRY to do what would be best for him, even though I don't think this is what's best for him. That doesn't make any sense, does it?

I'm still confused, scared and worried. But the relief that I felt when I walked out of that apartment makes me think that maybe this is what's right. No child should be living with two screaming parents. I should know, my parents "stayed for the kids" and it was hell. When E and I are fighting and D steps in between us telling us "Stop it, stop it, don't be mad" in his little sweet voice it just rips me up. So which situation will do the least damage?

Ok, I have to stop thinking about it for a while. Now that the front areas of the house are clean I'll work on the back. That should help.

One

Always do a test post.