Staying the same

Whenever I try to renew my weight loss efforts I buy myself a cute new notebook and put the date and my weight. I recently found an old notebook from about a year ago. The weight was 248. Today's weight? 248. For almost a whole year I've stayed the same.

There are a couple of weight loss blogs I read but will only visit them every few months or so. They are not updated very often and the message is always the same for both of them: "I lost a few pounds, *then silence for a while*, Sorry I haven't written because I fell off the wagon but now my dedication is anew and I'm going to succeed..." and the cycle continues. These women are so hopeful and really want to lose the weight and be healthy and feel good. Not only do they say that's what they want but you can just feel it in their words. You can't help but root for them because they want it so bad. But for years they've stayed the same hopeful, over weight ladies that they were when I first came across their blogs.

I've realized I'm just like them.

I really want to lose this weight. I really do! But it seems I spend more time wishing and hoping and I never actually get to it. I'll lose a few pounds and then before you know it I'm falling off the wagon and avoiding the whole situation. I really wish I could find the motivation/determination/discipline I need to lose weight once and for all.

I don't want to write another post like this in a year. I'll be really sad.